The Hunger Within Me

We have finally finished our unit on "The Great Gatsby" and "The Diamond as Big as the Ritz". In my opinion, these two were the best stories we have read so far in AP English and they will be stored in my memory for a while. But before we leave this segment, I wanted to write about something that I have pondered about for a while now. Every time I hear "The Diamond as Big as the Ritz" the thing that comes into my mind first are Ritz crackers. They have appeared constantly in my mind for the past week that I actually came up with a connection that exemplifies the two stories. At the end of "The Diamond as Big as The Ritz", John says that "everybody's youth is a dream, a form of chemical madness." (Fitzgerald 113) This is true in a consistent way, as Kismine found her palace the ideal comfort zone and Gatsby characterized this comfort as his past relationship with Daisy. This idea now comes into play with the Ritz crackers. Usually the idealized way people eat Ritz crackers is to eat it with something, whether its salmon, chocolate or anything that makes it taste like a dream. Now, let’s fast forward to where Kismine and Gatsby step out of that dream and face reality. This is now corresponding to eating Ritz crackers without anything. Eating Ritz without anything does not taste horrible, but that's what Kismine and Gatsby are making it seem like. They are still so focused on the past, or focused on the Ritz with something on it, that they are taking advantage of what they have right now and making it seem like the plain Ritz taste bad. This is the struggle that Fitzgerald is portraying through both books, that it is so hard to forget what is great in the past that you are overlooking what is great in what you have now. These two stories will always stay with me through my life and I will always rely on the message that they spread.

                                                                                                    

The Individual Within Me

After a week, we have finally finished reading The Great Gatsby. I felt bad for what Gatsby had to go through because he really didn't do anything wrong. In my mind, I see him as representing a large part of the population today. In the book, we see Gatsby with a luxurious house with all kinds of features such as a "machine in the kitchen which could extract the juice of two hundred oranges in half an hour if a little button was pressed two hundred times by a butler's thumb." Even though all of this might seem nice, it does not bring the true meaning of life that one should really focus on. Throughout the book, we see Gatsby quite lonely during his short life. He throws many parties that make him seem popular but if we look deeper, we can see that he does not really have any true friends that he interacts with besides Nick. His one real priority in life is the love of Daisy and he looks at this with quite a passion but it really tears him apart and eventually leads to his downfall. Now if we look into today's world, many people are craving about the idea of money, which has not changed from the past. Many of these famous pop stars have this money, but they too have a lonely feeling in them at some point. Traveling tirelessly with no true friend interactions really strains them down and puts them into a similar situation like Gatsby. While many people don't realize any of these consequences while they are still at an average standard of living, they take advantage of what they already have. Still,unlike the 1920's, many people realized that money does not bring people happiness but true friendship and family does. Life is not supposed to come at ease and the connections you make while you are at this point will give you what you need to live a happy life. As Thomas Aquinas said, "There is nothing on this Earth more to be prized than true friendship."

                                   

The Change Within Me

This week we started to read The Great Gatsby, which is one of the most popular books in the world selling over 25 million copies. At the start of the book, the narrator talks about two unusual islands that "jut out into the most domesticated body of salt water in the Western hemisphere." These two islands are known as the West Egg and the East Egg. These are very peculiar names for an island but the author does this for a reason. Every egg has a different orientation no matter what. Some are elongated and some are stout. This highlights the fact that no two places are the same. Throughout Nick Carraway's life, he has traveled miles and miles and every place has some significance to him. He has lived in the West and soon went to Yale before going to war. All of these different places have transformed him into the man he is and have changed his mind set to go to the east. This is where he sees the most prominent difference in lifestyles. In the West Egg island, all the families have recently become rich, while the residents of east Egg have been known as the old rich where they have adjusted to this lifestyle a long time ago. Although these differences are clearly highlighted, many overlook the Valley of Ashes. This area is about half way between West Egg and New York.  We can look at this area as a cracked egg because of how it is scrunched about between two more wealthier areas. The people of the Valley of ashes are very poor and basically live in the slums. Taking this idea into perspective, we can really think of every place we are at as an egg.

The Connection Within Me

We have finally finished Song of Solomon and overall, I thought it was a pretty interesting book with an unclear but satisfying ending. Throughout the book, there were many references to flying that have been abundant in African American culture. At the end of the book, there is a part where a bird "dived into the new grave and scooped something shiny in its beak before it flew away". This shiny item was actually Pilate's earring that was on her father’s grave. After she was shot, the bird scoops it up and flies away, signaling that Pilate was finally free. This is just one of the references to flying in the book. I noticed that there are very few white characters that are seen throughout the book and when mentioned, there is no flying associated with them at all. For example, the white peacock could not fly at all because its abundance of jewelry. This made me connect Song of Solomon to basketball. It is very similar actually. During the 2015 NBA season, it was recorded that 74.4 percent of all NBA players are black. This is a significant number compared to the 23.3% white players. It is just like Song of Solomon where there is only a tiny amount of white people seen and many African Americans. Also, in basketball there is a saying that goes "White men can't jump". This means that white players are not good at dunking the basketball because they do not jump high. Meanwhile, many black NBA players such as LeBron James, Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant are high flying dunkers. When we say jumping, I think of it as flying because of how they are gliding through the air. This is also very similar to Song of Solomon in that many of the black characters learn to fly, but the white characters physically cannot. I think Morrison wrote this book in a way to praise black people and what they can really do, and the National Basketball Association is a clear example of what Morrison is trying to portray. 

The Animals Within Me

This week in class we read over half of "Song of Solomon" and it is starting to make a lot more sense. Furthermore, there was a point in Chapter 8 where a white peacock appeared during Milkman and Guitar's conversation. It comes to a point where Guitar tries to catch it but it then jumps onto a Buick. Looking deeper into the scene, the peacock, with all its jewelry, is representing a symbol of wealth and power. When it jumps onto the car so Guitar cannot get to it, it is showing its higher status compared to them indicating that the peacock is supposed to represent the white people in the society that are above the black people. At one point when Milkman asks what Guitar is going to do if he catches it, he responds by saying that he is going to "eat him". This just shows how desperate the black people in the country are to get revenge for what they have been suffering through for decades. This got me thinking. If the white people were described as peacocks, what would the black people be described as?  The white peacock had jewelry to show wealth, but most black people did not have much money. Also, this animal would be dark to represent the black people. Many often look at peacocks because of their attractiveness and the strut that they walk with. This is just how white people get all the attention in society where everything evolves around them. On the other hand, at this time black people did not get any attention. I think the perfect animal that would represent black people at this time would be a Vulture. They are black and they are often looked at with disgust. Still, they are an important part of society because they are scavengers that eat dead remains of animals. Some of these remains are harmful to other animals, which is why they are necessary. This is how black people were at these times. Although they were overlooked, they contributed to society and the country as a whole would not function without them. In the book it said that "Milkman wanted boats, cars, airplanes..." which is exactly like vultures. They also want to be equal in society due to all the hard work they do every day.

                                                                                                     

The Disgust Within Me

In class this week we started to read a new book called Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison and let me tell you, from the first chapter it was the most confusing book I have ever read. So many things were thrown at me at once I couldn't process it all. Right at the beginning when it was blabbering about how the name "Doctors Street" came to be, I quickly realized that I was in for a nightmare. If the whole book was just going to keep describing little things that were really no interest to me, I was going to have a hard time next week. As I read further though, things slightly changed. It was still describing things very in depth but the things that it was describing was very hard for me to wrap my head around such as breastfeeding. Later it was describing Porter on the rooftop urinating on women's head. This got me thinking. What is the point of depicting these awkward actions. Does it help move the story forward? I think the point of this content is to really develop the story to its true worth. Just like Maus, it depicts everything, good or bad, to make the story create the moments that people often don't bring up. This type of thought is very important when creating a story. You have to decide between reality or criticism from others who think it is unnecessary to add these details. As I continue reading, I will keep an eye out for these types of details and how it changes the scope of the book.

The Transparency Within Me

In class this week we started to explore the different viewpoint on the topic of covering up a controversy. This has been an issue that has been reviewed over constantly with no clear solution. When parents hear on the news or from a friend of a terrorist attack or a shooting, what do you think comes into their mind first? They would think of their children first, trying to protect their innocent souls from the destructive society that we live in today. The problem is, when do we stop controlling their vision. As they grow older and mature into what we are today, as you keep hiding the violence from them, they can look right through you. There would be no point of hiding the truth at this point. This would then bring up the question of why we have to protect them when they are little? What would be the difference of telling them then vs now? This is the truth in human philosophy. Someone at the start of civilization must have come up with the idea that kids should be protected from the evils of society. This idea is portrayed through movies all the time with statements like "You will learn when you are older". How does this relate to violence shown in the news you may be wondering? It is the feeling of security in one's family circle. The thought of seeing your little child depressed because of the gruesome pictures they see in the news breaks your heart and breaks the mold and craft of the family you created. You want them to learn about the real world but you realize that it is not suited for someone so fragile. Instead, these kids should watch something that helps stimulate their brain and open up the creativity in their imagination. This will help them be ready for the real world because their problem solving would be at a top-notch level. As "media companies increasingly have to deal with horrifying images of war and terrorism", we should realize that the problem of these horrifying images is not linked with adults, but it is the stunting of growth for future generations.

The Visual Within Me

This week in class we started reading the graphic novel "Maus". This novel really gave me a different viewpoint on the idea of meaning. In my lifetime, I was not a big fan of books and only tended to read them when required. This book, though, has opened up a new realm of the creativity inside of me. I had never seen a book so intriguing with pictures like a super hero comic but with an actual and meaningful story behind it. The little details all around the pages could make me flip through this book for hours and not get bored. It gave me an idea not only associated with books, but everyday life in general. It shows that everything that you despise will have some sort of attractiveness that will pull you in and change the way you think. For example, when I first started playing basketball, I hated it. I was too short and everybody around me was better than I was. I used this as motivation to practice and practice and soon nobody could compete with me. I turned from hating basketball to loving it just because I found something that could change my viewpoint. The same thing happened to me with books this week, where this type of genre made me change my opinion. Just reading Maus, some of the lines contained so much imagery that I felt like I was reading a normal book, but there were pictures which gave me a better understanding. For example, the line that said "It was terrible cold that Autumn. All over Europe it was so freezing that birds fell from the trees" (Spiegelman 53) which showed me the reference they made visually in the picture and not just in words. I think this idea of the graphic novel is a great way for all ages to view interesting pictures while reading meaningful stories instead of one or the other.

The Thoughts Within Me

Every now and then, I decide to try to look into another person’s perspective and go through the motions of life. Unfortunately, I cannot imagine being another person but myself. I would have different physical features and also a different thought process in the mind. This idea relates to everybody. Surely enough, everybody has tried to step into someone else's shoes, whether it’s their friends or a celebrity. After a while of doing this, you would definitely not want to stay in their shoes because you love yourself more than anybody else on the globe. This is why you are definitely paying no attention to strangers or the little details that they portray during the short interval of time you stand in their presence. The thoughts of your own life are swirling around you like a tornado which blocks the visibility of others. But what would happen if you reverse this viewpoint? Why don't you think about the own tornado that these strangers are in and what thoughts are flying by their head? This would open up a whole new perspective of thoughts that you never had. To figure out what thoughts they have, take a look at their physical appearance or their facial expressions. Are they happy, sad, angry or stressed? With these emotions, you could create a paradox where you are inside another person feeding through the actions that are played out. To get the best effect, do this when you yourself are going through a troubled time. Forgetting about all the stress will impact you in a positive way no matter what. When stepping into another person’s body who is happy, you will be able to feed off this happiness for your own life. At the same time, stepping through a distressed person will reveal the gratitude and blessings you have been showered with in your own life because your situation is not as terrible. In the speech "This is Water", David Foster Wallace states that " ...the world will not discourage you from operating on your default settings..." This shows that the universe will not focus on your stubbornness, but your ability to conquer your weaknesses and try to improve them as you progress through the inevitable path of life.

The Patriotism Within Me

After reading Sarah Vowell's Partly Cloudy Patriot, I could not help but explore a recollection of my past. Throughout my life, I thought of traveling around the world. I would explore the breath-taking scenic views to the everyday life in villages and cities. This was my envision of a perfect life before I was ten. The moment that changed this vision, ironically, was when I was traveling. During the sizzling summer of 2012, I was heading to New York City for the 4th of July weekend. This was the first vacation where I would actually be able to take in the sights and sounds of a city that was not my home. For the first few days, I was terrified. I had never seen so many dirty alleys, obnoxious people, and crowded streets. I did not want to leave the hotel at all, especially during the night. Two days later, it was the 4th of July and probably the most spectacular showcase of lights would be taking place just a few blocks from me. I knew I couldn't miss the opportunity, so me and my family headed down there and got a good spot before the other tourists and natives rushed in to occupy the space. Making observations as we waited, I noticed the Hudson River was murky with trash floating on the edges. After about forty-five minutes, the show began. The glimmering lights filled the pitch-black sky to such an extent that we could call it day time. The ships were creating thunderous sounds as they let their goods sparkle above the New York City skyline. That moment, gazing at shining lights with the Star-Spangled Banner playing in the background, was where I questioned my perfect life. Why would I travel across the world looking at all the scenic views while I would ignore all the natural beauty that lies in our country. This country has every landscape that there is: Deserts, Forests, Beaches, Mountains. I couldn't pass up the magnificence of this nation. I realized that I was ignorant to the patriotism within me. As I looked around at the hundreds of thousands of people standing near me, they showed me the true meaning of patriotism. It is standing by one another with unity to explore the greatness that lies around us and how we can build on it. As I left the show with an army of people surrounding me, I didn't think of them as strangers, but friends. With all of us helping each other and learning the true meaning of patriotism, we can not only change our own community, but the nation as a whole. In Partly Cloudy Patriot, Sarah Vowell said, "...seeing them was heartening because they indicated that we're all in this sorrow together" This idea brings attention to the fact that no country can function without its people working together and spreading awareness to the problems that overshadow the good.
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The Wall Within Me

The Wall Within Me
One of my first visualization of the nation’s hardships was on my 8th grade trip to Washington D.C. Before my trip, I had no expectation on what I was going to see. I just wanted to have a good time. The first stop we got off at was the Lincoln Memorial. I stared in fascination as our most popular President looked into everybody's soul as they entered the massive marble columns. Our time was up and I thought we were going to head back to the bus, but our tour guide was walking in the opposite direction towards the Washington Monument. I was confused at first, wondering why we had to walk all the way there when we could have just gone on the bus. We trekked through the snow which drowned us in a fluffy white powder creating no visibility. We suddenly stopped and I saw our tour guide staring at a bunch of snow, looking on with pride. I, confused once again, went to take a closer look when I banged my head on something hard. Dazed, I took a step back to see an overwhelming black wall in my path. I saw the label and it said Vietnam War Memorial. I stood there for a few minutes, drowning out all the complaints or screams of my peers wanting to leave due to the heavy snow. Dragging my hand along the wall, I see names zooming by. I felt like I was at a moment of fullness. The pit I was in felt like I was being swallowed and pushed into wall. I glanced back but I couldn't see my friends through the swirling snow. The wind started to blow and I started being forced against the wall. I was struggling to get free pulling myself with all my might. My head going to explode with the amount of fear, tension and exuberant energy I felt. All of a sudden, the snow stops, the wind slows down and the air gets clear. Everybody came into view, taking pictures of the Washington Monument or themselves. I couldn't explain what I felt in the pit of the Vietnam War Memorial that day. I felt as if I was drawn into the wall and I would never come out. "While the dead body occupies a grave to which the living may attend, the missing body is marked by unoccupied space through which the living may stroll" (Booth 3). When I read this quote in class this week, it all made sense. When I was at that monument two years ago, the dead and the missing, being lonely, were trying to draw me in while I was struggling to retain my life. War always will make you a different person when you come out and there will always be a point of loneliness in your soul as the memories fade.